Model Behaviour columnist, Grace Brackstone, sounds off about internet dating (and the lies)
So we all know about the internet dating craze. People are just far too busy with their hectic lifestyles to find the spare time to meet people in person, it’s much easier and accessible to get a date whilst sitting at your desk checking your phone and reading your twitter or Facebook feed right?……
There’s an app for most of these websites now. I find it all quite scary to be perfectly honest. Please don’t get me wrong I’m not opposed to Internet dating or meeting the love of your life through using the internet, but I am opposed to this shallow culture that is growing from it. I am also aggravated how easy it is to live a lie via these websites. It also screams cheating loophole to me.
Recently, a social experiment took place where they asked men and woman what their worst fears where from meeting somebody via a new dating website called Tinder was. Tinder is a new and very popular dating website it’s more about posting pictures of yourself and getting “liked” for your picture and then matching you with a similar person (if you didn’t already know). The survey said that most women feared that they might meet a serial killer and that’s what scared them the most about Tinder. Valid point. Men were asked the same question and the survey said that their worst fear was meeting a “Fat” girl. WOW……………REALLY?…
The experiment starred a young woman who had posted her pictures and signed up to Tinder. She was probably in her early twenties and around a size 10 (UK) and very attractive. As you can image she had many “likes” and so she set up a few dates with prospective suitors. The only catch was……and this is brilliant was that she wore a fat suite and went from a size 10 to a 18 easily. So basically she looked nothing like her profile. Every guy that turned up was quite disappointed and some were even rude and told her she was fat and looked nothing like her pictures. Four out of the five dates actually got up and left and one guy stayed out of politeness. This same experiment was used on women and this time the man wore the fat suite. Not one of the women left!
I am now having flash backs to that Jack Black film “Shallow Hal” this whole experiment was both very interesting and it really just goes to show how men are more judgemental and fickle when it comes to their ideals. I do not wish to categorise all men with the same brush; however fellas this experiment does you no favours. So this makes me beg the question are men more shallow than women?
On the other side of this coin I do find myself thinking well if a guy told me he was 6ft 3″ via Tinder and I met with him and realistically he was 5ft 8″ would I have the same reaction as these men did to this heavier woman? I mean come on nobody likes to be lied to. But is this experiment only offensive because A – she’s a woman and B – she’s overweight? So is this just a size issue yet again?.
Thankfully I’m not a man-hater so I can see both sides of this argument. I’ve met many superficial women in my time usually they are loitering around a table in a nightclub somewhere…..come on we all know one! Some that will only date a man for money, some for status and some for looks, but mostly they have to have tick all the above boxes. I find woman just as guilty for being shallow but I think women can hide it better. Maybe we are more intelligent?……Now there’s another argument entirely lol
In conclusion there is way too much pressure to find a partner and the “perfect” one at that. Going from my own experience you need to be attracted to the person but then as you get to know them your personalities have to be compatible also. So how can anyone know this from a picture on a dating website? I think these sites especially Tinder is a shallow form of dating and a breeding ground for fantasist. I believe there are good honest people looking for love on these sites but I’m afraid this culture of online dating maybe just taking the “love” out of the equation and replacing it with lust. Therefore making it “ok” to be shallow. I understand from friends that there are some happy endings with regards to Internet dating but there are more disasters than triumphs from what I gather. Why can’t we all be a little bit more old fashioned and just meet each other face to face? At the end of the day I do believe that men and women alike can be just as shallow as each other and it’s not down to gender but down to the individual. I do believe that these websites are making it easier for people to be shallow and more judgemental than ever and I cannot see this changing anytime soon which is the most worrying thing.
My advice singletons speak to your Grandparents that generation had the right idea. Respect yourselves and don’t settle. True love is worth waiting for.
by Grace Brackstone